What is Be Spunki? Is it a sexual term, is it a slang way of saying hot, or is it something different?
To me, it’s a way of living, involving everything we do, from health to diet, exercise to relationship, work and play, awake and sleep. It’s an attitude of living and being.
There are so many gurus and self-help junkies out there, all looking to give you their answer, or where you believe through the power of advertising and manipulation, that they know you better than you know you. What if your true spunki nature was whatever you desire it to be? Whatever works for you, truly being you, in the life you have now, and the life you desire to create.
So who am i?
What the f..k do I know, and what makes me different to those I mention above (who by the way, I have no real point of view about, if it works for you, do it!).
I am a 40-something male, who has tried most things to find my real self, improve myself, make myself stronger, fitter, better in bed, better at work, younger looking and and and, always ruled by fear of what someone will or won’t think about me, and what I need to be, as a dancing monkey on the stage of my life, to be accepted in this life, to accept myself in my life.
Ruled by the glass being half empty, rather than the glass having something in it at all, always looking at what can go wrong, rather than living what is, and creating what I desire truly.
So what changed? What led me to this blog, this page, this lifestyle, and what next?
After years looking at the bottom of a bottle (drink, sports supplements, otc drugs), the half empty glass, I met my gorgeous wife. Now she is no ordinary being – she has got more t-shirts of experience than anyone I have ever met (and she sure looks great in them), yet she is the most positively beautiful person I have ever experienced.
She doesn’t judge, she doesn’t want, need or demand, she just is who she is, and allows me to be truly me (whoever that is at the time). Now after 40+ years of another way of being, this is very new for me, so new that sometimes (like a lot) I fall back into the doom & gloom world. She just smiles, wraps her arms around me, tells me it’s all ok, asks me “what do I really desire?”, as it’s just my choice for how long I wish to spend in the dark room at the back of the house (my subconscious mind), that no one ever admits is there (yet we all spend some time playing there), or I can come out into the garden of life, feel the sun on my face, and just enjoy being me. No force, no deception, just love, allowance and a big bright smile.
This shift of allowance has completely changed my reality – no longer do I have to be anything other than I am. No pretending. No front. And no show. I am being encouraged to be me, warts and all.
So what if you could be that for you? What would that look like for you, and what needs to change for that to happen?
For me it was many things:
The relationship with myself was the first thing I changed, as if you don’t accept you, how can anyone else? My spunki wife gives me the space, contribution and allowance to see me truly, as a beautiful infinite being, that then allows me to look at the ‘warts and all’. She smiles and then asks “what’s the benefit to me of hanging on to this?” To really start to question myself about what my targets and desires were, what works for me, what doesn’t, and not judging myself for the lessor choices I have made and continue to make. She has encouraged me to question my choices, from a space of non-judgement, so that it’s easy to make a different choice WHEN the time works for me.
So relationship with self is the 1st change I made, and continue to make. Accepting what I am today, and knowing I have the power to change anything if I desire to. This helps all relationships, as once we get that for us, we can then allow others to be who they truly are, and that creates a whole new set of possibilities.
What I hope to share is the changes that helped me, in all aspects of my life, so you can see if that works for you, or if you desire to keep on with your current choices.
I became mainly vegan (oh no, you read, he must be some kind of spiritual weirdo). Nope, sorry to disappoint, but having read The China Study by Dr Colin Campbell in Bali, I was shocked.
Since I was 12, I had always lifted weights – my grandfather was a strong man in rural Lincolnshire, a gypsy boxer, recognised nationally for his strength feats. My dad (my childhood hero) took me with him training when I was a boy, introduced me to soon-to-be-heroes, so I was always lifting, striving to be bigger, stronger, harder. Reading everything I could find (no internet back then thank God). My eating healthily comprised of raw eggs, raw liver, desiccated liver tablets, milk, protein powder, you name it, I took it.
So what a shock to find the number one cause of cancer is the whey protein / dairy, IGF1 link. Shit, I was even considering taking IGF-1 to get bigger. And for what?
Now don’t misunderstand me – if you want to do these things, please do. My point of view is mine alone, but the change in my body from dropping the dairy, and meat, has been incredible.
With all I say, if you only take away one thing, I hope it’s this – do what works for you, question everything everyone says to you, and don’t give a toss about what anyone says about you. Good or bad, it’s just their opinion. What if that didn’t matter?
So eat what makes you feel good, at an honest level for yourself.
My Mum had some very wise words, that I try to live by “son, if you can look into your eyes in the mirror at the end of the day, and truly know for you, you lived the greatest day of your life to date, then my son, it’s time to sleep, wake up, and see what else is possible tomorrow”
Is that a judgement, if you didn’t? No, it’s just being aware, and asking, what else do I need to look at, and what works for me?
As I said, I lifted weights since I was 12 (all designed so I would not be called fat at school!). I was strong, worked in the fields with my hero (my dad), lifting straw bales all day at harvest time. Working with him lifting 50kg bags of sugar in his factory.
I lived to train (and have been very lucky to train with some of the best people on the planet – some of the strongest people I ever have seen (Wayne, Gary, Chris, Ashton & Aaron, Mark and Kevin – you boys know who you are), and always sought to do more each time.
I have read more bodybuilding articles than anyone on the planet (before I was 20!), bought more supplements than most, and tried every form of training known to mankind. Did it work – in a way of course, but it never was truly me.
I always had a backdoor (an excuse). I work hard, I don’t take drugs, I cannot afford to eat like the pro’s do, blah blah blah. I cannot take time to train twice a day, I have a family (more later) and and and.
So what has changed? I am stronger than ever (even with vegan-itis). I look better than ever. And most of all, I love to go to the gym, and just work with me, being who I desire to be, training as my body requires (I ask it – “body, what would you like to do today?”), and listening to music that just changes all reality (DJV you are the man!). The connection I now have with me is the real reason. And I love it.
So what is the common link of change? Doing what works for me (no one else), and asking myself honestly “is this working, or what else can I do that is even greater?”
This leads me onto the biggest change my beautiful Spunki wife offered me – to accept who I am, and embrace me fully, warts and all.
4. Self development
I have always been into self-development. Which is a judgement in a way. As … if I have to develop, is that from a point of view that I’m not good enough? I used NLP, and Brain Sync to pass my exams at University and my Professional exams (yes, I am a professional). I have worked with hypnosis, and everything else known to man. If I could have tried MKUltra I would have gladly signed up for that too.
Motivational speakers – got all the audios. Watched the videos. Went to sleep most nights with all this too.
What spunki wife gave me was the true gift of knowing me. She said “you know, you are beautiful as you are, and what change would you truly like to be?” just that allowance of her seeing me as the true me, with complete allowance, was what it took to change my view. Yes, I still love audiobooks when I fly or drive, I love to meditate, and relax, but what has changed in me, is the acknowledgement that when I really ask myself, “Does this feel contributive to me?” and feel the energy, then I know.
So the 4th thing I changed was to look inside me for the awareness, rather than trusting some other expert.
Same as exercise and diet – yes of course ask questions, gain awareness, but the greatest thing you can offer to you, is the trust that you know you and what’s best for you, more than anyone else.
So my self development now comes from the space of accepting who I am at this point in time, and asking my being, “What would I like to create today?” For my tomorrow, “Who do I need to see, speak to, or hear?” and “What else is possible?”
I have found 2 sources of question that really help me, and I want to fully acknowledge the role that Aura-Soma and Access Consciousness have played in my growth.
Both empower you to know you, and to see who you are, what’s going on, and to give you the choice and tools to change things.
I have worked with Aura-Soma for a long time, and it has helped me see what lives in “my back room”, and supported me in that acknowledgment of what I have hidden in there for years. The subconscious mind is our back room, and of course, studies show we bury our experiences down there, so we don’t have to face them. However, it’s a big powerful room (some say 20,000 stronger than the conscious mind), so when our conscious mind gets taken over by daily things (distractions like anger, rage, fury, hate, guilt, envy and the like), of course whatever is hidden comes up!
You know the scoop – get a bit of stress at work, and boy does the wife get it when you get home. Is that you, really you, or the anger of your experiences? And then what do we do? We judge ourselves, and lock that shit up again, but just buried a bit further down. All that actually means is it grows stronger, for the next time!!
What working with Aura-Soma has shown me, is that by acknowledging what’s there (not through thinking or feeling, but by the subconscious attraction of colour selection), and then acknowledging its presence, making friends with it, not making it significant, (thank you Access), it becomes less powerful, and less in control.
The overarching question I ask myself (another gift via spunki wife from Access Consciousness) is “What works for me?” If it doesn’t work, choose again. No one knows you better than you do, so whatever you read on this page, please please please, ask yourself “Does this feel light for me?” “Body, what awareness do you get with this?”
So what’s the point of Be Spunki?
The point is to share what goes on, in a way that may allow others to see they are just the same as everyone else, and it’s not a weakness / wrongness to acknowledge the beauty of themselves, as they are.
It’s like a GPS system in a car – if you don’t acknowledge where you are now, you will struggle to get to where you desire to be.
The question gives that awareness of where you are, then you can decide, do you desire to go on the journey, have fun, and create more, or are you happy where you are
Over time, I hope we can create together, create a change where people can be inspired by people, to choose more for them.
There will be features from disgraceful people who have inspired me, who I really see as making awesome choices for themselves, and the world. We will look at diet, training, lifestyle, skincare, in fact anything that goes on in your world. It’s your community too, so contribute – people are searching for you to inspire them on their journey too.
My target is for this to be a place of sharing, where we all create together, and I would love your contribution on how Be Spunki creates going forward.
So until we meet again, remember, its your life, and you have a choice – be the spunk in your world, and know by being you, you inspire others to be themselves. Its lifesaving. Literally.
Shaun, co-founder of Be Spunki