If, like me, you manage to cause all sorts of upset in your “actually perfect” life, and wonder when you look back on it, what was that actually about, be brave, read on!
I can safely say I have had my share of “f..k ups”, where now I can see I created by my stupidity, situations that caused unnecessary upset, in some instances break ups, and regardless of this, stopped all forms of creativity, for the duration of the turmoil.
Spunki wife calls this my “Rogue Mouse” programme, based on the fact that most of the time, my earthship (body in layman’s terms) is pretty level, very kind, caring and downright great to be around.
When these normal mice go off somewhere (holidays, sleep, the bathroom, or even a coup), then Rogue Mouse jumps at the chance to have a go at the wheel.
Now is Rogue Mouse deliberately out to crash and burn the ship?
I don’t perceive so – its more he has a LOT of energy, and very little idea of what is required to keep the ship on target, and it’s that frustration that causes the excess energy to channel in the wrong direction. Maybe an old familiar safe reliable direction (may not even be your direction but one you have witnessed before), but never the less, an unhelpful direction of travel. Do you ever look behind at the trail of destruction you leave sometimes and go “how did I do that!?” well chances are, it wasn’t exactly you who did.
For example – out for a lovely evening with your significant other, nice glass of wine, awesome entertainment, beautiful energy … then, it happens.
Some little insignificant act, a look, a comment, a no comment, and whoooooo, into orbit. Rogue Mouse at the wheel, getting so much energy, excitement and with it a frustration. As he pulls the wheel left, it goes right, when he presses the brake, it goes faster.
You get the picture, nothing is going the way it should, and the more effort is put into getting it back on track, the worse it seems. Ultimately, a crash and burn. How bad this is depends on many factors. Some are fatal, some mere flesh wounds, some it’s just a brown mark in your pants that hopefully no one else notices!
Now rationally, we as people wouldn’t choose this, would we? Not unless we really liked S&M! Why create pain from pleasure, suffering from joy?
What causes Rogue Mouse to grab the wheel and take over?
For me, looking at this, I see one huge issue is the frustration of the situation.
Frustration!!! Of what?
Well think about it, we now, in the present moment, are the product of all that has passed, all that we have experienced, all that consciously, and more deeply, unconsciously taken in from our parents, our childhood, our past relationships, our current situation, peer pressure, TV … the list is endless. These are all reference points and influencers for Rogue Mouse (aka subconscious mind).
The frustration comes from not being able to express what is causing the huge energy reaction of the miniscule event in front of us, or maybe not even being aware of why we are getting so much stimulation from what to everyone else is a seemingly benign situation.
Yet to us, it’s the most mortal situation ever.
Have you ever been in the situation, being asked “so what’s going on?” only to get even more upset, cos you don’t actually bloody know, or you cannot verbalise it! How can you explain what you do not know or have any awareness of?
It is said (by some Mouse scientist) that the subconscious (unacknowledged) mind works 20,000 faster than the conscious mind. 20,000 more powerful!!! Shit, and that’s the one that remembers all we have experienced, the one the media programs, the one we bury our shit in.
The conscious mind’s role is really to control our subconscious, to maintain order. So as you can imagine, there is a lot of stimulus hidden inside us, that we don’t know about, that when the conscious mind is off somewhere (either dealing with stress, alcohol, drama & trauma or something else), the little seeds that have planted down inside us have that chance to really sprout and come to the surface.
All a bit deep!
Well, think about it – tough day at work, come home, lots on the mind. Wife greats you at the door, big kiss, dinner underway, and all great in her world, thinks about a bit of bedroom action later, and and and………
Frustration, anger, distance, bad words, difficult energy, and for what? Is the fact she did sausages not steak such an issue? That she forgot to pick up the cleaning when she did the school run? Nope, but of course, what is really running the earth ship at this point? It’s certainly not you! And she is completely lost, as she is merely behaving as she has before, but now a very different reaction.
So what is the point of this all?
From my point of view, just the mere acknowledgement that this might apply to you at some point makes it less significant. Knowing that sometimes you can be flying with Rogue Mouse is funny, and then again, allows you to change this.
Not getting caught on the ship when it takes off – being able to recognise it’s taking off, and get off before it does. Being able to have a “safe sign” to put out, so those around you know Rogue Mouse is at the controls and give you space to regain the controls. This is not about laying the blame elsewhere, nor not accepting responsibility, it’s about recognising what’s running your ship, and choosing what you prefer. Safe flights of creation, or crash & burn.
Spunki wife is great with this – she can recognise the driver long before me, and as we grow, I am trusting her more when she says “who is driving your ship at this moment?”
Please don’t judge yourself for this, past or present. You can change it in an instant, merely by recognising who is driving, and maybe asking “do I really want Rogue at the wheel?”
Trying to figure out what is in the depths of the subconscious is impossible – let’s face it, riding a bike to catch a rocket will never work. But what if we just acknowledged this stuff when it comes up, and maybe ask “wow – were did that come from, who does it really belong to, why am I making it significant?”
If 99% of thoughts & feelings don’t belong to you, they are what you have taken on through life, how cool is it that you can acknowledge this, and through that the frustration clears.
No longer do you need to be frustrated at what’s running your show – how light does it feel to know it’s not likely to be yours, and that you can return it to who it belongs too.
Catching this early, when you feel the Rogue Mouse strapping himself in, can really help you in life.
So Spunks, please remember … it’s just choice!
We can work on ourselves to reduce the number of times Old Roguie gets to take the helm, whilst also getting more aware of when he does, and then getting off the ride before it takes off.
I am a work-in-progress on this – merely sharing what I have found works for me.
After all, why let others run your life, when you can create something beautiful for you
I am sure we each have our own ways of getting Rogue Mouse off the ship. How about sharing your feedback below in the comments, so we can start the Be Spunki revolution. Just think how awesome the days would be, if everyone we meet was doing things that made them happy?
Until next time,
Shaun, co-founder of Be Spunki