WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT YOU DO, THAT HELPS YOU BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE?
I started my fitness journey after I graduated in 2010. I used to be call skinny all the time and that just traumatized me. I was so insecure of myself, I didn’t love who I was, I hated every bit of who I was because I didn’t think I was good enough. I was weak in every aspect. Some of my insecurities where brought back from my childhood as well. I was lacking love in my life, something I never received and searched it in other people. I wanted to be accepted. That brought along many of my insecurities.
I started working out in 2010 to look better and feel better. When I started seeing results it was like an addiction. I had no help from anyone. I looked up my own tips on social media, I searched deep and practiced till I knew how to workout and how to build my body.
Working-out did not help with my insecurities, it only covered them temporarily. More and more challenges came at me through out all these years, knocking me down every time, filling my life with tears and depression. I can’t count how many times I fell. My life was a constant battle with defeat. I still kept pushing, getting back up and pushing. I kept learning from every obstacles thrown at me.
There is not a day, month, year, that I recall being the best ever, there’s not a time I’d like to go back in time and be there. There have been three points in my life where I thought everything was going to be better, first time I thought, okay, I know everything is going to get so much better, it was only the start. Second time, yes, this is finally it, I know it’s going to get better, but nothing. Third time I said this is it, this has to be it, I’m completely convinced that everything is going to get much better from now on. But my world came crashing harder than ever. I broke down for the millionth time, by this time I was angry at everything that had came at me. I was angry with determination.
What angered me the most was having the feeling deep in my heart that I was made for more. That I was capable of so much more than I can imagine, that I was special, but not been there. I was angry that I had not done anything in my life because of all the hardship that had happened throughout my life, because of all the obstacles that came knocking me down, stopping me from achieving greatness and conquering.
I was lacking self-confidence, self-love, not being good enough, self doubt, I cared too much what people thought of me. All of this was very strong in my life, all these insecurities were knocking me down, to where I couldn’t do anything because I didn’t feel in myself capable of it. But what I’ve learned and realized up to this point was that every single obstacle that I’ve had to fight, that I had to go through was preparing me to conquer all these things. All those obstacles in my life were what I needed to go through to conquer all my insecurities.
I realized that whatever you’re going through, no matter how hard it is, all the hardship you’re going through is preparing you. It’s building you to have all the traits you’re lacking. It’s building your weakness and replacing it with strength, your doubt with confidence, it’s building you to help you feel capable of conquering the world and finally breaking that chain that is holding you back.
No matter what comes at you it’s only temporary and know that something great comes out of temporary defeat. This greatness might not come tomorrow, next month, next year. It will come when it’s meant to be, be patient and learn to get back up every time you get knocked out, because when you’re ready you’ll be like a lion freed out of a cage, ready to conquer.
Listen and trust your heart, it always speaks to you. Your heart knows who you are. This is one thing that helps me be the best I can be. My heart had been speaking to me all my life. I had too much hurt in my life that I didn’t believe who I really was. My heart tells me I am strong mentally and physically, I am good enough, I am special, I am loved, I’m confident, I can do anything that I set my mind to. The best of it all, is that I believe it.
TINA RIVAS
fitness enthusiast
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